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There were just enough players boredly hammering numbers into the phone that they found another secret. On a deep epistemological level, how could you not push that? The Adventures of Willy Beamish is an early '90s graphic adventure game about an elementary school kid, sort of like an edgier version of Arthur's Teacher Trouble. I need to get my old NES and a microscope and take a year off work. Play them perfectly and you can get through an entire level of Serious Sam without killing or even seeing any enemies. Add me to the daily newsletter. You need to alternate between one-player and two-player block buttons like you're standing between an annoyed Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee.

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